Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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