i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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