No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
