he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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