Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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