It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
