a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
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At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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