I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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