Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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