We're facebook friends in real life
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
