I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
