Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
