Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
