I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
