Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
