The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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