Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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