Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.