My Higher Power is John Stamos
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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