I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
