I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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