Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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