Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
