there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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