I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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