i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
