She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize