i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
