i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
