xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
