ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
