She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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