As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
