you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
