I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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