I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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