how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
