new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.