Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this beer tastes like vomit already
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.