I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It was confusing and full of hummus
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.