Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?