Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole