we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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