Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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