You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother