ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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