At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?