Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Randomize
Follow @tfln