There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
