He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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