He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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