A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing