I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah