I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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