Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.