Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back