he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
