I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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