They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
