I got chris browned last night
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
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there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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