Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina