You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If you need anything just hit me up
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?