Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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